Infosec horoscopes: Astrology for SOC teams

It’s Libra season, and you know what that means: Venus has entered Scorpio and cybersecurity vendors are starting work on their annual reports of cyber predictions for the next year. Since effective security operations can be both a science and an art, we’re dipping our toes into a field that is neither of those things: the Zodiac! Seasoned defenders are likely familiar with the CIA triad–Crystal balls, Incense, and Astrology. In an effort to foretell the adversary tradecraft your security operations team will encounter in the next year–and to get ahead of our competitors—we decided to look to the stars.

Read your horoscope below and compare notes with other practitioners and stakeholders in your security operations center (SOC).

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

The outlook for Aries is dominated by one thing: Screentime. We predict you will spend most of your waking hours with a device in front of your nose. Since it’s been prophesied, you might as well learn something in the process. Subscribe to Red Canary’s YouTube channel for a steady stream of webinars, conference talks, tutorials, and other educational content.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

We predict that at some point in the next year, your security stack will generate at least one alert. Choosing the right endpoint detection and response (EDR) platform for your organization’s unique needs is essential. Check out our EDR evaluation guide for a list of key considerations in the selection process.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Gemini, GenAI… try saying that five times fast. Large learning modules (LLM) are only getting smarter, and we see this burgeoning technology as more of a boon for defenders than for adversaries. Read more about how GenAI relates to individual SOC functions and watch our webinar on the topic.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

The stars tell us that Cancers are more likely to use Macs than any other sign in the Zodiac (citation needed). Luckily, Red Canary created Mac Monitor, a free tool for analyzing telemetry collected from macOS endpoints. Cancers will also appreciate our research into Gatekeeper bypassing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You will get a Sabrina Carpenter song stuck in your head for days, maybe even weeks. Luckily, we at Red Canary are experts in both computer worms and earworms. Our Threat Sounds playlist should get that me espresso out of your system, with insights into trending cyber threats in the liner notes.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Thanks to their perfectionist tendencies, Virgos make especially good detection engineers. As you will spend much of your time creating and tuning detection analytics, refer to our Better know a data source blog series and you’ll leave no stone unturned.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

A new threat actor will emerge and the industry will give it a ridiculous name with confusing SEO implications. Our regular Intelligence Insights updates will help you keep track of who’s who and how they stack up against each other month over month.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

It has been prophesied: You will send some emails in the coming months. It is also likely that you will receive some emails as well. Read up on the latest variations in phishing, as well as how adversaries abuse email forwarding rules after obtaining credentials.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Like the patron saint of ciphers Taylor Swift, Sagittarians are talented code-breakers, and we see some gnarly encryption in your future. Watch our latest Detection Series webinar on crypters and loaders to catch up on the latest in adversary tactics.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Capricorns always plan ahead, so you’re probably prepared for what’s coming anyway. Our Incident Response and Readiness Guide will render any future horoscopes useless.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Aquarians are community-oriented and altruistic, and you will soon feel that urge to give back. Why not contribute to Atomic Red Team, our free, open source library of lightweight tests to validate your detection capabilities? Although, you’ll get a free t-shirt, so it’s not a totally selfless act. Don’t let it go to your head.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces are known to have their heads in the clouds–and most of their data too. Whether your assets live in AWS, Microsoft Azure, or Google Cloud Platform, focus on shoring up your cloud infrastructure as more and more assets will move on up.

But actually

Okay, fine—we can’t predict the future. What we can offer is actionable guidance based on the most prevalent threats, MITRE ATT&CK® techniques and identity trends we’ve observed in the petabytes of telemetry we’ve collected this year so far. Read our new Midyear Threat Detection Report for data-driven insights and action items you can implement right away, regardless of what’s in the stars.